yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
