But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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