I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
