I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
