So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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