ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
