I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm passing your future prison.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
