i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
