So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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