No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
