i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
splinters make it hard to masturbate
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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