If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
