omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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