I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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