im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he quoted the bible to break up with me
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
