LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I am one with the molecules
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
