A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
