That's when you crack a 10am beer
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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