yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
