I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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