it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
