Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
