Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
