She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
