I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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