you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
