I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
