paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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