this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
