i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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