when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
