hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
