Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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