Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
