so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
