tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
