I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
