You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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