EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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