weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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