i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
