based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
