I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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