I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
