Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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