That's when you crack a 10am beer
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
