Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
