i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
