I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
