Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
