WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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