i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
These tits shall not be calmed
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
