Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Randomize