hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
