this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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