If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
