well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
