Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
handjob tips. give me some.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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