He asked to "fluff my boner.."
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
