I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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