So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
