You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
